01 September 2009

He needs help, people!

I know that a few of you are aware of Doug's problem, but to the rest of you I know this will come as something of a shock. Doug is completely addicted to pastries. Croissants, danishes, strudels, waffles, tarts, crullers, anything. Did you notice how many he'd eaten in his recent by the numbers post? That's over a span of less than six days, mind you.

Just yesterday as we strolled towards the Grand Place here in Brussels I noticed I'd lost Doug. Realizing we had just pasted a bakery, I returned to find Doug in line.

"You just ate a sandwich and a croissant not twenty minutes ago," I said.

Doug smiled and ignored me and proceeded to rattle off the name of his desired pastry in what sounded to me like perfect French. Nevermind that he can't translate graffiti for me when I want him to, when it comes to ordering pastries, the man might as well be a local.

It's become sadly clear to me that something must be done. I would call on all of you to aid me in planning an intervention, but I think we all know that the dangers of pastry withdraw make this impossible. What begins with the shakes often ends in bloodshed.

So I've decided that the best and safest option is simply to get together and fully fund his craving until we can medically treat the issue. Donations in all currencies will be accepted by the E5BD office. Your donation will also go to assure that I have a chance to eat another two or three of the chocolate covered waffles sold here in Brussels, which I have it on good authority are known by the locals as "tourist crack."


  1. May god have mercy on the man who tries to come between Doug and a chocolate croissant...

  2. Speaking of which, LJ, I'm counting on you and H and everyone else to eat some pastry-like things at the Fair on my behalf.

  3. Oh, and I might as well confess that as Lee walked in the door after posting this, I was readying my satchel for our next excursion, and I noticed some croissant crumbs on the strap. . . . And for a moment--just a split second, I swear!--I thought, "I bet they're still okay to eat."

    But for the record, I did not. I have some dignity and restraint.


You know the drill: keep it civil and on-topic, don't spam, don't run with scissors, floss. For posts older than three weeks, comments will be moderated before publication.