28 March 2014

Tourist Trap Tourney: The Natural World, Round 2

Lake Atitlan v Iguazu Falls
Mascots: Holistics v Naipís

After a pep talk by superfan Aldous Huxley, the Holistics erupted stunningly, continuing their improbable run and leaving the Naipís utterly drained. The oft-overlooked Holistics are quickly turning into cult favorites to usher in a new age in this competition.

Great Barrier Reef v Fjords
Mascots: Bombastic Coral v Haddock

The Bombastic Coral had the crowd support from all their swimmer friends--the whole school, in fact, but the tide was simply stronger for the Fjords. The Haddock were efficient [say it out loud … -Ed.] in their efforts, and impressed with their skerry guards.

Copacabana v Maasai Mara
Mascots: Tan Lines v Big Cats

The Big Cats came in with something to prove to the world—namely, that despite their internal rifts and reputation for spottiness, they’re still the pride of the Africa, and prey to no one, certainly not the oh-so-vain Tan Lines. The result: a thorough Brazilian waxing. [Yup. -Ed.]

Petra v Grand Canyon
Mascots: Obodas v John Wesley Powells

The rugged Americans entered this match-up as heavy favorites, and they quickly showed why, as they ran wild with their dapper, speedy starting line-up—nicknamed the Class Five Rapids. The Obodas had impressive staying power, but were slowly worn down and left, as one commentator put it, “rose-red as if the blush of dawn.”

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