31 March 2014

Tourist Trap Tournament: The Supreme Sixteen

Round 3 begins with sixteen competitors--that's the Supreme Sixteen to you (because, trademarks)--and ends with a Most Excellent Eight. All the recaps below! And if you're just joining us, you can relive all the excitement, game by game, round by round, over at Tourist Trap Tourney Central

The current bracket! Click for full size.

Pyramids at Giza v Sydney Opera House
Mascots: Pharaohs v Avenging Arias

The crowd-pleasing Avenging Arias soared early once again, but came out flat after the intermission, their long run ending on a bad note. The Pharaohs, meanwhile, had their day in the sun, with an epic Ra-Ra-Ra spirit—they’re gods now.

Manneken-Pis v Easter Island
Mascots: Wee Whizzers v Furious Foreheads

Purists may cry foul over the Wee Whizzers’ style, but there’s no question that the little lads of Brussels have their eyes on the prize, Number 1 in their sights. Problem is, they’re atrocious at long range. And though some teams get distracted by the Wee Whizzers’ antics, no one keeps a stiff upper lip like the Furious Foreheads, the enigmas of the islands, the face of Pacific exceptionalism, long a regional secret but quickly becoming world-famous, and rightly so.

Running of the Bulls v Oktoberfest
Mascots: Stampeding Hemingways v Drunks

You have never seen such a chaotic bloodbath. The Drunks finally stumbled—and how. They could barely keep upright, their communication was off, and everything they threw up was awful, a case study in what not to do. The Stampeding Hemingways ran right through their opponents, showing no hint of mercy. They’ve taken a circuitous path to get this far, but they’re in the home stretch now—the question is, Can anyone stop them?

Hagia Sophia v Forbidden City
Mascots: Mosaics v Dynasties

It was a classic showing by the Mosaics: unquestionably stylish, but mighty complicated. If there’s one knock against them, it’s that they’re the very definition of Byzantine. They sure looked it against the Forbidden City and their renowned guards and penchant for order—in the Dynasties’ hands, the venue became a Hall of Supreme Harmony,  

Lake Atitlan v Fjords
Mascots: Holistics v Haddock

The magic finally wore off for the Holistics of Lake Atitlan, its famous towering threesome all but dormant while the Haddock made waves with their outlet passes and world-class spread.

Maasai Mara v Petra
Mascots: Big Cats v Obodas

The pride of Kenya pounced again, with the Big Cats working their Mara Triangle offense to great effect, thanks to their Big Five. The Obodas showed off with some Siq moves, but it wasn’t enough.

Great Wall of China v Las Vegas
Mascots: Earth Dragons v Sinners

Nobody puts on a show like the Sinners, proof that with cash comes flash—and a reputation for offensive powers. So it was an incredibly close contest with the Earth Dragons and their famed defense, until the Great Wall showed some gaps and lapses, and the luck ran out, as always seems to happen against the Sinners.

Times Square v Dubai
Mascots: Bright Lights v Shiny New Stuff

With famous cheerleaders like Frank Sinatra and Jay-Z, the Bright Lights are big-city ballers with pedigree, and were their usual impressively frenetic selves, with ceaseless action in the lane. But in this showdown of two decidedly unsubtle competitors, the Bright Lights hit a roadblock in the form of the Shiny New Stuff and its dizzying excess—all height and go-for-broke style—led by its famed “seven-star” all-star. 

* * *

That leaves us with eight teams, with the regional finals coming up next. Make your picks in the comments!

Art & Architecture final:
Pyramids at Giza v Easter Island

Culture (or Something) final:
Running of the Bulls v Forbidden City

The Natural World final:
Norway’s Fjords v Maasai Mara National Park

Cities & Squares & Markets final:
Las Vegas v Dubai

No comments:

Post a Comment

You know the drill: keep it civil and on-topic, don't spam, don't run with scissors, floss. For posts older than three weeks, comments will be moderated before publication.