30 April 2012

Warm beer & the metric system: A simple plan for British/American unity

Sometimes I kind of hate social networking. Other times, I find it a peerless forum for transnational dialogue, an international gathering ground and exemplary resource for cross-cultural dispute resolution. I know, I know: high-minded statement, that. Go ahead, roll your eyes. Meanwhile, Pam Mandel (a.k.a. Nerd's Eye View) and David Whitley (a.k.a. Grumpy Traveller) and I will be resolving the Very Important Matter of negotiating a British-American cross-cultural exchange and agreement. If any countries would like us to mediate dispute resolutions, we're available for a nominal fees. We'll be at Camp David next week.

This conversation happened a while back, but I've been distracted by, you know, stuff. Also, the sun was in my eyes and, uh, the ball took a bad hop off a pebble.

Anyway, the discussion/world-peace-creating starts with me, asking, on Twitter, about proper spelling and accenting of the word "resume" (the thing you submit with a job application). And then we got into the heart of the matter. The tweets below are reprinted verbatim minus the inclusion of our respective Twitter handles in the responses.

@nerdseyeview:
i like the accent. otherwise, you're just continuing after a pause.

@mrdavidwhitley:
I knew there was a reason we call it a CV rather than resumé. Less accent-based confusion.

@douglasmack:
Yeah, let's just do that. I'm in. (And while we're at it, we oughta finally start using the metric system.)

@mrdavidwhitley:
 If you can start including tax in the stated price of everything, that'd be nice too.

@mrdavidwhitley:
And play football with your feet. In return, we'll install mixer taps.

@nerdseyeview:
can we also work out something around the s/z issue and all those extra "U"s?

@mrdavidwhitley:
Certainly. I'll pop a proper dictionary in the post* for you all. (*Mail. Ach, damn, this just gets tricksier).

@douglasmack:
Fair trade all around. Also, if we cut back to 2 ice cubes per drink, will you please give us at least 1? Thx.

@mrdavidwhitley:
Done. And if we put our beers in the fridge, can you make yours taste of something?

@nerdseyeview:
if we can resolve the ice issue, the three of us should go to camp david next and settle the middle east.

@nerdseyeview:
now david, did i not take you to a place that has REAL BEER? i'm wounded.

@mrdavidwhitley:
OK, OK. Make the *cheese* taste of something.

@mrdavidwhitley:
 Also, we promise to install air conditioning if you'll let us open a window every now and then.

@douglasmack:
Pam, the man has a point about USA beer *in general.* But we're working on it. And keep it out of the fridge!

@nerdseyeview:
i think we're making some good progress, but i won't let a brit lecture me on "cuisine".

@douglasmack:
AC, windows. Deal. Also, we'll teach you to make a proper doughnut if you'll teach us to make a proper scone.

@douglasmack: [in response to @nerdseyeview's comment about Brits and "cuisine"]
Quite. I was just about to get to this "full English breakfast" business ... ;)

@nerdseyeview:
oh, i DO like a good scone. rather.

@mrdavidwhitley:
All the world's problems should be solved like this. Proper bacon in return for more than one breakfast option?

@douglasmack:
Someone call the Nobel committee. Okay, you're in charge of bacon, we're in charge of WARM toast.

@mrdavidwhitley:
Also, we'll stop ruining fish with batter if you promise to discover the 'vegetable'.

@douglasmack:
Done, but we might offer you some tips re: preparing "the vegetable"--canned mashed peas don't count!

@nerdseyeview:
 i'm really unclear on which US you visited, david. are you sure you actually left britain?

@mrdavidwhitley:
The southern US. I think the vegetables may have been obscured by the freeways and parking lots.

2 comments:

  1. I dunno, I've had way better scones all over the US than most of the ones I've encountered in Britain. They seem to love their pre-fab, plastic-wrapped rocks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I think of an English breakfast I picture those Edwardian spreads in period costume dramas, though I realize that may not be the present reality.

    When I think of beer I think of neither England nor America.

    ReplyDelete

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