18 January 2017

My Book Would Make an Excellent Valentine's Day Gift

So I have a new book coming out on February 14th. It's called The Not-Quite States of America and it's all about the U.S. territories and Booklist says, "One will never think about the United States in quite the same way after this enjoyable read" and you can preorder it from your local bookseller or via Indiebound, Barnes & Noble, direct from W.W. Norton, or from that giant website named for a river ... and there's lots more info right over here.

But let's go back to the February 14th thing. That's Valentine's Day. An occasion best known for flowers and chocolates and teddy bears dressed like Cupid and dinner at whatever fancy restaurant still had space when you finally remembered to call yesterday.

You know that's even better than that--and would make for a less clich├ęd, more lasting sort of gift? My book. But perhaps you need some enticing. Perhaps the book lacks the proper sense of occasion. Well, fret no more, because now you can have it all: a great book (sure to gain your loved one's affection) and your Valentine's Day swag.

Which is to say: I made you some wrapping paper and some cards that fit both the spirit of the day and the spirit of the book.

The wrapping paper is set up to print on 11" x 17" paper and, yes, it's all the right size and suitable for printing. Here's the PDF file.

The cards are also all set to go--just print on 8.5" x 11" paper (do not scale) and trim as noted; they're 4" x 6" when folded. Some are sweet, some are snarky. Some are specific references to my book and its themes; some simply celebrate reading. Something for everyone and every relationship. Here's the PDF file with all fifteen cards. And here's a sample.

(Page 152 features an X-rated sculpture park on Guam.)


If you do give this as a gift to someone and use the wrapping paper or one of these cards, tweet me a photo (or post it to my Facebook page) and I'll send you a little gift. Real offer.

Go on, then. Preorder!
Barnes & Noble
direct from W.W. Norton,

... And there's more about the book over here.

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