After 63 game recaps and more than 300 puns (and perhaps five good puns), the Tourist Trap Tournament comes to a close with the Final Fjord Plus Three More.
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Fjords v Las Vegas
Mascots: Haddock v Sinners
After a long run of flash and
swagger, the Sinners made all kinds of questionable decisions, basically rolling
right over and submitting to their Norwegian foes; there’s no doubt they were
out partying a bit too hard these last few days, because they sure looked
washed-out, as the Haddock darted around with ease. Some commentators have
voiced suspicions that the Sinners were betting against themselves, but the
reality is that the Haddock were simply the better team, with a positively
oceanic gap between the teams in terms of endurance and general clean living.
Running of the Bulls v Easter Island
Mascots: Stampeding Hemingways v
Furious Foreheads
The Stampeding Hemingways often
have their ups and downs--they may get knocked down, but make no mistake, the
Run also rises. The Furious Foreheads never found the upper hand, and seemed weighed
down by a mental block. The Stampeding Hemingways move on, as war-proven
veterans, making for an intriguing final match-up against the Fjords: The Old
Men and the North Sea.
* * *
Thanks so much to all the fans
on the blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook. These two teams wouldn’t have gotten
this far without you--the Fjords had a particularly strong base of supporters
who most certainly nudged them forward.
Let’s look at the match-up:
Running of the Bulls:
Strengths: Brute force,
killer instincts, famous fans, and man
can they run.
Weaknesses: Easily distracted by the color red, frequently called
for charging, not a ton of finesse.
Fjords:
Strengths: Long reach, incredible history, rock-solid foundation,
stoic endurance beyond compare, utter charm, ability to get out of tight spots.
Weaknesses: Slow-moving, stuck in their ways.
Final result: Running of the
Bulls!
(After--by my count--more than 300 puns, I’m fresh out right now, so no
extended recap. Maybe later!)
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